Musician's Widow

Last night, I worked in a bar downtown. Our entertainment for the night brought a lot of promise, and we were anticipating a good night. What we got, however, was someone who really didn’t seem to know how gigs in bars in Nashville work. This artist was green. And I venture a guess that they got the gig through a friend of a friend.

Still today, I am stewing over how the night went, and its in hindsight that I wish I could have pulled the person aside to give them a little advice for future gigs in Nashville. I speak from the perspective of a musician’s wife as well as a bar employee.

My advice would have been:

First and foremost, the bar relies on you just as much as you rely on the bar. It is a symbiotic relationship. Realize this fact alone, and you’ll already be on your way.

– Even when the bar is empty, play like its full. This is HARD to do, I know. My utmost respect especially goes to those musicians who do an acoustic set — just them and their guitar — to an empty bar… and they sing every song like its to a crowd of 1,000. Why do you do that? Because when customers come in the door, they are going to size you up in about 15 seconds right along with the vibe of the bar. “Do I want to listen to this? Am I interested?” If you are just goofing off or treating it like a glorified rehearsal, your potential crowd will never happen. You’ll run them off before they come in the door.

– Remind the crowd to take care of their bartenders. If the bar serves food, mention that as well. A lot of times, a person is new and might not know what all is offered at the bar. As for “take care of your bartenders” — well, take care of them, and they take care of you. You’ll get your beer a little faster, etc. Again, you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours.

– Come prepared to do a four hour set, but also know how to fly by the seat of your pants.

– Encourage people to buy a drink. Even if its just one. The register ringing means the bar stays open and you keep a place to play. Ignore that fact, and you’ll find yourself scrambling to find a bar willing to bring you on to play. If you aren’t an asset to them, they won’t want you.

The other symbiotic relationship is that of the lead singer and the band. You rely on them just as much as they rely on you.

– Introduce them. Acknowledge them. Let them stand out on their own… they are trying to make it in this business, too. Give them a chance.

– Tips are split among everyone on stage. Do NOT pocket all the tips yourself. They worked just as hard (if not harder in some cases) than you did for those tips.

– Treat them with respect in general. Word gets around who the “problem artists” are, and you may find yourself hard pressed to find really good musicians willing to work with you.

Come hang out and watch other acts prior to your show. You can learn a lot by just watching and keeping your eyes and ears open. Also, go visit The Nashville Musician’s Survival Guide. He can tell you even more tips that are far more technical that what I can share. I’m simply sharing what I’ve witnessed and experienced. When I go to work downtown, I look forward to hearing good music as I work. When the music is sub-par, the night is long and I get cranky. I’m STILL cranky from last night, in fact. Truly, that is because what went wrong last should not have happened. It’s fundamentals of Nashville musicianship. If you don’t have those… you don’t have a chance.

Bailey waits for a phone call

In continuation from yesterday’s post, its 5 pm and I have only been up for MY Thursday for two hours. That’s because I went to bed around 10 AM…

My husband was back in town and ready for me to come pick him up from the bus around 6 AM. Since I’m a night owl, I found it easier to just wait up for him than to go to bed and sleep a couple of hours before going to pick him up.

As you can imagine, this meant getting caught in morning traffic through downtown Nashville… twice. Making a usual hour-trip closer to two hours in stop-and-go traffic. And, of course, we got home and both were too wired from driving in traffic to go straight to sleep.

When we went to bed, I silently prayed that the phone would not ring and wake us up early.

It did ring around 2:30 pm with a telemarketer. I suppose I should be grateful, because had they NOT randomly pulled our number out of a hat, I’d have probably slept until more like… well… I’d still be sleeping. But instead, of course, I grumbled and cursed under my breath for my sleep being interrupted.

Then I remembered an old cell phone trick I used to do when I’d work much more regularly in a bar downtown. I’d get home around 4 AM, and by the time I went to bed I knew my phone could easily be ringing by 9 AM while I was trying to sleep. The easy answer: turn the phone OFF. My rebuttal: I don’t ever want to be unable to be reached should anyone in my family have an emergency.

I have special ring tones for my family and closest friends.  For example, my husband’s ring is the song we danced to at our wedding. (Awwww… right?) Other ring tones include  “Small Town Kid” by Eli Young Band and Pat Green’s “I Like Texas.” There are others, but I’ll leave you with that to marvel in my phone geekiness style.

I figured out that if I set my “default ring” to silent (or the case of my current phone, the quietest notification sound), my specialty ringtones would still ring loudly. So instead of silencing my phone or turning it off to avoid being bothered while I sleep, I can rest easy knowing that in an emergency my family can still reach me but other random calls would not bother me.

Now a key thing is that upon getting up, you can’t forget to change your default ringtone back to your normal setting!  But that little trick came in handy countless times in the past, and any time my husband and I have one of these wackier-than-usual sleep days, I’ll be putting that trick back into service.

Before I met my husband, I would randomly wonder how, exactly, you get a job as a touring musician. It’s not like the jobs open are listed on Careerbuilder.com or Monster.com. Do you have a resume? Do you fill out an application? How does this work!?

I’ve discovered being a touring musician straddles two phenomenons: having a job and being self-employed. I find that fact alone to be the hardest thing to convey to anyone outside of the industry. (However, I’ve also found it to be a common phenomenon in the blogging world.)

You are self-employed, in that you have to own your own gear, and you can be “playing for” as many as three or four artists at a time. Sometimes you do session work (recording albums). Other times you just pick up gigs where you can find them around town.

You “have a job” when you work for an artist full-time, and your pay is based on how many shows are booked for your boss. Occasionally, “the boss” will put the band on a salary, and you make a flat rate no matter how many shows you play.

Ultimately, the income of a touring musician can come from many different avenues and ways. But, still, the question remains: how do you GET these jobs? And beyond that, what can other industries learn from those musicians who get the work?

I’ve broken it down into five factors that decide who does and doesn’t get the job.

1. Talent. No matter what job you go for, you’re not going to get it if you can’t do it. For musicians, its musical talent, of course. For writers/bloggers, its an ability to write. For accountants, its knowing accounting rules. For doctors, its knowing how to diagnose illnesses, etc. At the end of the day, you can’t get a job that you can’t do. Period.

2. Resume. Even for a musician, having a solid resume can mean the difference between getting the gig or not getting it. Do you have any experience in performance? No? Then there’s going to be hesitation in hiring. This can be applied in all fields, of course. The more experience you have, the more valuable of a hire you could be to the company.

In blogging, your resume is your “about me” page. Tell me what makes you someone I should read. Tell me what makes you “an expert” in your field. Tell me why I should potentially contact you to write for me and my business (if you are looking for jobs such as this.)

3. Network. This is bigger for a musician than the resume, actually.  Remember when I mentioned that its not like jobs are listed on a job site? Jobs are instead listed among the “good ol’ boys” of the industry. The last several jobs my husband has had he has gotten via networking. The last two he got by being recommended by fellow musicians. The more people you know (and impress!), the more job opportunities that come your way. Also, the more you are seen, the more likely it is that your name will be the first one thrown in the hat for a job.

This phenomenon can be found in multiple other industries. The more visible you are, the more likely you are to be thought of for a job. It’s why I don’t understand people not using Facebook, Twitter, etc. These are FREE ways to network to hundreds thousands of people at one time. You want to keep your name and face out there for others to see, know, and trust.  Sometimes, you have to spend money and go out and be seen in person. It’s often necessary to spend money to ultimately make money, and sometimes that means having a few drinks or buying a dinner or two. It’s about making a connection. Its networking.

4. Audition. The audition can be seen as an interview. It’s your chance to show someone in person what your abilities are. Its in this moment that your talents come to light and your resume is really poured over. Sometimes, your resume is so strong, you can skip the audition/interview. “So-n-so hired you? They give you a glowing recommendation? Good enough for me! Hired!” However, if you’re new to the industry — any industry — your audition/interview will determine if you get the gig/job. Go in and give it your best. Dress the part and go in with confidence. Be the best you can be in that moment.

In blogging, your audition is every post you make. Your appearance is the look of your blog. Know that every person who visits your blog is interviewing you. Deciding if you are someone they want to keep reading. In some cases, they are also deciding if you’re the type of writer they may want to have do guest posts for them, or perhaps to write for their publication.

5. Hang factor. You got the job. Awesome. Now, you need to KEEP the job. It’s called “the hang factor.” This is a key factor for a road musician, where you spend DAYS at a time on a bus with your band mates.  If you can’t fit in with the group, you’ll find yourself outside of the group. Not even your talent can help you avoid being booted out when you don’t have “the hang factor” going for you.

This is true in other industries as well. A harmonious work environment is often key to getting work done. Learn how to adapt. Especially if you find yourself in a position of representing your company. You want to convey a positive appearance. You want to fit in no matter where you go.

I’ve found, personally, this also applies in blogging. I don’t like blogs that are so straightforward that you don’t have any idea of personality. I want a “hang factor” in my blog reading. I want to feel comfortable with the person whose words I am reading. I want people to feel comfortable with me… lest they stop reading me all together.

I know that every job and industry have other factors that can affect if you get a job or not. If anyone has any more suggestions, please add them in as a comment! However, these five factors are ones that I’ve found to not only  be key to the touring musician, but to also be key in other industries as well.

I am drowning in a sea of return address labels!

They just keep coming. Every day, another set of labels appears in my mail box.

See, its how they get you. You donate to an organization or a cause, and suddenly every organization and cause wants your money. And they get you by sending you a “free gift.” 99% of the time, its a set of return address labels.

They just keep coming! Attack of the return address labels!

Why? Because they know that every time you use one of those labels you’ll get this deep feeling of guilt, if you didn’t donate. Every birthday card. Every anniversary card. Every thinking of you card. Every bill. This feeling of GUILT.

It’s enough to drive a woman mad!

It sometimes makes me wonder why any company ever offers to sell you return address labels. Surely all these non-profits keep them busy enough already!

In all seriousness, I wish with all my heart I could donate to every organization and every cause… even the ones that DON’T send me return address labels. But I don’t have an infinite pool of funds from which to give, and until that day comes, I have to pick and choose.

Meanwhile, my collection of return address labels is taking up over half of my mail organizer, and I just don’t send much via USPS any more. So some of these labels I’ve had for over a year, and I’ve already received my, “brand new set of labels as our thanks to you!”

Well, you’re welcome. My pleasure. Happy to help.

Now what?

I spent today brainstorming on creative ways to use my abundance of return address labels. Here’s what I came up with:

1. Mark items as mine that I take to any gathering. I remember my mom would do that when she’d take a casserole or a salad to a potluck supper. It always seemed brilliant to me. Not only did it mark her bowl or serving spoon as hers, but if for some reason we had to leave early, whomever took it would know where to find us and return the item.
2. Instead of writing my name in a book, use an address label! I don’t loan out books as much as I used to, but if I ever do, it would be easier to do that than to write my name inside.
3. Luggage tags!


Send more snail mail!

4. Keep a set in my purse for if I am ever at a conference where you can sign up for gifts, etc. Save me from writing my name and address over and over again; plus no chance of it being illegible.
5. I thought about using it to tag my cat in case he ever gets lost, but I figured he wouldn’t like that too much.
6. Same for my husband.
7. Send more mail. Any time I get a surprise card in the mail, it just brightens my day. Perhaps I should just send more notes and cards. Postcards don’t cost too much send, and the joy it might bring to someone would make them priceless.

So perhaps I can turn my attack of the return address labels into something positive instead of a guilt trip.

Anyone else have any ideas on ways to use return address labels in a new and creative way? I’m all ears!