I generally don’t make “New Years Resolutions.” EVERY day is a chance to make a fresh start, is my thought.
(See what were my 2013 goals… of which I really only successfully did two. Oops?)
However, this season I’ve been running and running and running, with this day as my prize. The day I get to just STOP for awhile. The day I get to reset. Our Christmas gifts are literally still in the boxes they traveled in from Texas. I barely just unpacked my suitcase, stacking the clothes on the bench at the foot of the bed, figuring I’ll just work my way through wearing them versus putting them away. I ache all over from five nights straight behind the bar — culminating in New Years Eve and an 11-hour night. (No really, we got there at 6 pm, and we finally left after 5 am.) I’m TIRED.
But I’m also rejuvenated in a way. All day yesterday, I was actually a little sad to see 2013 go… it was a good year to me. I don’t know if that was mostly due to attitude, lack of any huge tragedies, or I was just too busy to notice anything negative. Whatever the reason, I liked 2013. But at the stroke of midnight, as I hugged and kissed my husband and “Auld Lang Syne” played — I fought back tears. Tears of thanks for a great 2013. Tears of hope for 2014.
My 2014 Goals:
1. Get my passport. I’ve had this on my unwritten life to-do list for the last seven years. I have this crazy fear that something could happen to my husband while in Canada, and I would not be able to get to him due to my lack of having a passport. Its one of those things I think all Road Widows should probably have for such a case. I pray I never need it for emergency sake, instead have it for fun things like vacations overseas. But I still think I should have one.
2. Write a letter every month of the year. This is something one of my best friends and I have challenged each other to do this year. The written letter is a dying art, and that makes me so very sad to say. So my goal for 2014 is to write a letter or send a greeting card to SOMEONE every single month of 2014. Bonus points if I can somehow send to a different person each month, but we will see. I suspect Mrs. Baker will be the only recipient of more than one.
3. Buy a house. This was on last year’s goals list, but didn’t happen. Partly due to just not getting our stuff together; partly due to just being too busy. But I really want to see this happen this next year. I love my home, and our landlords are amazing and dear friends. And our neighbors absolutely rock. And I’m pretty addicted to being 15 minutes from downtown. But I want a house that’s MINE. That I can paint and remodel if I want to… and I’d like a little more elbow room. And a second bathroom. That’s not too much to ask, I don’t think.
4. Get back to what I weighed at my wedding. Or as close as possible. Especially after this Christmas season, I’m itching to get in better shape. I’m blessed with my height, so extra pounds don’t seem to show as much as I think they do. (Or so friends tell me.) But I’ve exceeded my personal threshold this last month, and that frustrates me a little. Oh, I enjoyed all the delicious, amazing foods of Christmas. But I also went into the season with a few more pounds than I liked to begin with… this shouldn’t be THAT difficult of a challenge, really. Mostly I just need to eat smarter and healthier and I should be good to go.
5. Journal. I used to keep a daily journal. Then Facebook, Twitter and marriage happened. And I no longer had time nor felt the need to journal as I had. But I miss being able to look back on any given day and see what I did or how I felt. I might not have time to journal EVERY day, but I am going to make that my goal. (But I am not going to beat myself up if I miss a day here and there.)
6. Photography. Well, I still need to get my website up, so that’s a given goal. I also need to finish the photography class/certification that I signed up for last year. I am SO VERY THANKFUL for all the new photography gear I got for Christmas. Can’t wait to break it all out and tinker with it. It’s all going to open up my photographing abilities dramatically. Exciting times ahead for my photography work.
7. Game nights. We had a recurring “Margarita Monday” through 2013. We recently talked about having game nights periodically with friends. I’d love to see that happen here and there. Just get together and play cards, or board games, or (when its warmer) cornhole or horseshoes. Maybe have a bowling night sometime.
8. Bookkeeping. This past year has been my worst in terms of bookkeeping. And I’m the daughter of people who own their own business doing bookkeeping and income tax preparation! Epic FAIL! Goal for 2014 is to keep up with the finances a LOT better.
9. Second vehicle. My husband and I are right on that edge of being desperate for a second vehicle. At the end of 2013, we both had to REALLY give a lot to juggle having one truck. I know that in this next year, it’ll become a necessity that we get that second set of wheels.
10. More positive people around me. I can say with complete certainty that I somehow surrounded myself with many positive and successful people in 2013. Ironically, in many situations, they came to ME versus the other way around. That baffled me, but I also grasped that fact with both hands and held on tight. I think those people — most specifically the NASCL and CASA — are a huge part of why I loved the last year so much. They were evidence of how surrounding yourself with positive people gives positive results. I want more of that. I looked around at one point last night, and my heart was so full of all the people I saw that I can sincerely say have a place in my heart. Even if my bank account were to hit zero, I’d still feel myself a rich woman.
As always, as another year draws to a close, its time to look back and remember some of the best (and worst) memories of the past 12 months. So here are some of my memories from 2013:
2013… you were very good to me! THANK YOU!
A family Christmas tradition that I cherish every year is to attend midnight mass. Of course, I can’t recall midnight mass ever actually starting at midnight, but that isn’t the point. I look forward to going to church in the middle of a cold winter night, singing Christmas songs and hearing the Story of Jesus’ birth. I look forward to that as much as any other tradition.
This Christmas Eve we left for church with plenty of time… We get there early to hear Christmas songs and to just enjoy the warmth and love of being at church. My husband drove us all in our truck, and I set up music to plays softly. We were on a small farm-to-market road when I noticed taillights in a field.
“Oh someone left their truck parked In their field,” I thought. It wouldn’t be an unusual thing for a farmer to do. You see trucks parked beside or In fields along that FM road all the time.
Then our headlights swept over the vehicle. My brain was confused by the scene
“Wait,” I started.
“That truck is upside down,” my husband finished, hitting the breaks hard.
“Yeah… That’s not right…”
“The headlights are still on!”
He started backing up and sure enough…. The headlights were very dimly still glowing. My husband pointed our headlights towards the truck and we all had a moment of, “Now what?”
My husband jumped out and headed out into the muddy field to see if there was anyone in the truck still. I took my dad’s phone and called 9-1-1. (I felt more comfortable using his local number than my Nashville one. Dunno that it mattered but in my brain it did. I was still kinda in autopilot processing what was happening!)
As I talked to 9-1-1. I watched my husband help a young woman out of the back passenger door of the truck. I relayed this is dispatch, then had to go find out if anyone else was in the truck and if they needed to send an ambulance. As I got closer, my husband shouted to stay where I was because of the mud everywhere.
“I don’t care about the mud, is there anyone else in the truck? Is she okay?” I shouted back, barreling towards the overturned vehicle. I was acutely aware of my boots getting heavier with every step.
No one in the truck… She was badly shaken and covered in mud from head to toe, but otherwise seemed okay. I relayed this to the dispatcher and she said she had sheriff enroute and would send an ambulance just in case anyway. I thanked her and hung up the phone.
By this time, three more trucks had stopped and I couldn’t help but notice that everyone was dressed for church as well. Any other night of the year, the road could have been void of cars for hours at that late hour.
The girl was disoriented and definitely in shock. She was more worried about where her side mirrors landed than the fact she wasn’t wearing shoes. I took my jacket off and handed it to her — my favorite leather coat my husband brought back for Korea as a gift for me — because she was shaking and it was cold out there. Something in my heart and gut said she needed it far worse than I did. It was a no-brainer.
“No! I’m a mess!” she protested.
Almost in unison, my husband and as both said, “It washes. Take it.”
She gratefully wrapped up in it and her shaking slowed a little.
The crowd started to disperse a bit. Everyone could see she was okay, and they knew I had been on the phone with help and it was just a waiting game.
I got a chuckle when she said the engine still ran, so maybe they could just push the truck over and she could still continue to her destination that night. Or maybe not. How did it even happen, she wondered out loud.
My guess was that she just missed the curve, going straight instead of to the right. What mattered, though, was that she was okay. She told us she almost cried when she saw us stop…. THAT got me.
My dad brought me my mom’s jacket, as I was standing out in the cold in a short sleeved dress… I didn’t really feel the cold until I put that coat’s warmth on my arms. All I wanted to do was give the girl a hug, and tell her it was okay. She was pacing and quite lost. She eventually walked back to the truck and fished her cell phone out. We all got a laugh when she called her boyfriend and went, “Honey, I don’t think I’m going to make it.” “Why?” “My truck is flipped over in a field!”
The sheriff arrived and I went to get a business card… I wanted to leave my jacket with the girl and the deputy could return it to me the next day. The girl declined and the sheriff gave her one he had. I think my husband and I were both hesitant to leave her, but she was in good hands. The ambulance arrived to check her out as we did finally part ways. When we went to get in our truck, I took stock of how caked my new boots were with mud… And I just didn’t care. We had helped this girl… And dammit boots and jackets wash. And even if we arrived at church late (which we didn’t) I felt more at peace in that moment than I had in awhile.
The girl has been on my mind and in my heart ever since that night. My husband told me later that when he opened the door to help the girl out, the cab was full of mud and Christmas gifts. As she climbed out, still spitting out mud from her mouth (we think the truck slid on its roof and the windshield gave in filing the truck with mud), she said her Christmas was now ruined. My husband disagreed with her.. What mattered is she walked away from a rollover. On Christmas Eve.
I don’t know about anyone else, but I felt God in that field that night. He put us in the path to find her. And while we got her help… He also gave us pause to look around at ourselves and our purpose in life… Moment to moment, year to year. It was oddly the most Christmas moment I could have had.
The thing is, this is the fourth time my husband and I have been one of the first on the scene of an accident. My husband summed it up so beautifully on his Facebook page that night…
I’m no hero… Just in the right place at the right time. All I’m going to say is we have a job to do… To look out for one another. Take care of each other. Hug your loved ones a little tighter, for an extra second or two this season. Merry Christmas everyone. I’m having an extra special one… All is well with my heart, and I’m thankful.
Amen, honey. Amen.
As a child, it felt like Christmas would NEVER arrive. Today, I feel like its gotten here much too fast. Slow down, time! Slow down! I’m trying to enjoy every single moment that this holiday brings… everything from a quick nap, to gift exchanges, to big meals, to side splitting laughter.
To memories being made.
My wish for all of you is to have a very joyous, peaceful and loving Christmas. Whether you are surrounded by friends and family, or you’re enjoying a quiet day at home on your own, I hope you can find the peace and love this holiday is meant to bring.
This time next week, it’ll all be over. The gifts exchanged…carols sung… Families going separate ways. Another Christmas in the books.
As we barrel down the interstate to spend the holiday with family, I am filled with conflicting emotions. I’ve spent the last week focused on to do lists and getting everything done before we left. House and cats covered (so no bad guys go case my house… It’s under surveillance and you’ll be caught!). Photo jobs done and completed. Christmas parties and shopping. Paying bills. Etc. The spirit of the season gets lost in responsibilities.
I miss the wonder of the season I had as a child. The anticipation of Santa. “Midnight” mass where I’d sing in the choir, and all us kids would all whisper about what gifts we already received. Peace on Earth seemed to truly happen for that one night a year. New dresses and shiny shoes. Dressing up that night was as exciting as Santa’s approach… Would we get home before he got to Texas??
I still remember like yesterday seeing a shooting star just after midnight on our way home from church a few yeas ago, and I remember closing my eyes making a wish… An extra special Christmas wish.
I miss seeing my extended family every Christmas. Photos were taken; carols were sung. (The biggest laughs coming from the “12 Days of Christmas.”) Gifts exchanged and opened in order of age — youngest to oldest. Books and horse things were my main loves. My brother the occasional remote control car.
Christmas in Texas typically was warm enough to go outside and play after dinner. New bikes could be tried out immediately, and I know a few toys were broken within hours of being opened.
However, as years have passed schedules and lives have changed. Christmas together isn’t necessarily guaranteed as it once was. The season no longer seems to last long enough… It passes in a blur and we are left wondering what happened. We worry more about paying bills than we worry about getting enough hugs. And it’s in that fact that I feel a tinge of sadness going into Christmas. But it’s also spurring me to strive to enjoy my Christmas holiday. To move a little slower. To disconnect from the web more. Worry less. Laugh more. Wear my Santa hat and dare anyone to stare. It’s Christmas… And a time to make more memories to be cherished for years to come.
We’re getting close to Christmas, so I thought I’d visit my Wishlist board on Pinterest and feature five “wishes” for my Christmas list. Don’t look to this post for anything deep like peace on Earth or a cure for Muscular Dystrophy (because seriously, these are never ending wishes that I do seriously pray for deeply), or anything like, “Johnny win the Heisman” or even for the death of “internet speak.” No, this is strictly consumeristic (its a word now, shut up) and selfish. And items that are just for fun, not for work.
Psst... this includes a link to my Amazon.com Wishlist, too. You know... just in case you want it. ;) LOL