point of view, whining

That lonely weekend…

I’m supposed to be good at this.

Then why am I sitting here going, “Okay, its time for him to come home?”

I guess I’m just out of practice? Or perhaps its the fact that its a long weekend, so his absence this weekend seems more poignant? Though I’ve spend my birthday alone before. Last year he left on Thanksgiving. This shouldn’t matter. Those weren’t big deals. This shouldn’t be.

No, I guess no matter how much of a “pro” I fancy myself, sometimes you just miss your spouse. And I do miss him more than usual right now. How will I be in a couple weeks when he’s out of the country!? Well… granted… I already have plans to look forward to during that time, so that’ll help. Different circumstances all the way around with that, really.

And really, that’s what it all comes down to. I told him the other day that, “Time passes slower here than it does where you are.” Meaning, he’s so busy that time flies by… whereas while I am busy doing things here at home, I’m still at home. And the time seems to drag by at times.

Perception. That’s a big thing that is hard to adjust for each side of an equation. In a lot of ways, this has been a short run. Heck, had he stayed with his last employer I would have hardly seen him this entire summer. So I am ultimately grateful, and I know he’ll be home in just over a day and a half.

I think myself a pro… but even pros have their moments.

Baby you need to come home
There’s a little bit of something me
In everything in you…

Uncategorized

Like the first day of school

I like to think I am a “pro” at this whole musician’s widow thing. But even being a “pro” doesn’t make it easy sometimes. It just gives you knowledge on how to handle it.

Tonight, my husband embarked on a new gig. Or rather, this weekend is something of an audition towards this new gig. But nonetheless, I dropped him off at a bus in a grocery store parking lot, bound for Canada for two days.

I am so excited for him on this. A new gig. A big one at that! Plus, its one that will still allow him to be home more to continue work on a new project that we have started in the last few months. I have no doubts that he’ll do great, but still I say prayers and send him good vibes.

It felt great to say I was taking him to bus call, and there is a comfort in this routine as it is familiar. But that doesn’t mean that there wasn’t this sadness that came over me as I drove away without him. I’ve gotten so used to having him home all the time! I missed him within seconds of dropping him off at the bus!

I would think that for him, tonight was a little like the first day of school. He’s the new kid, and even though this is not his first time out on the road, its his first night with this group. And its also been a few months since his last trip out. So, even with as familiar as this lifestyle is, tonight was something new all over again.

Anyway, I’m not sure how to approach this whole thing at the moment. It’s not a done deal, exactly. But I also don’t see any reason why it wouldn’t be, either. I just want him to be happy and enjoy what he does. (And having the steady income would be nice as well.) And I sure hope this gig will be a perfect fit.