Tag Archives: fear

Pushing boundaries

This summer, we sold my husband’s truck, because we needed the money and we weren’t using it anyway. In the back of my mind, my only fear in letting go of our second vehicle was ice and snow. See… growing up in Texas, I never had to deal with it. Any time I have been in ice and snow, someone else always drove, and I was okay with that.

However, the fear remained leading into winter. Would I have to drive in bad conditions to pick my husband up from the bus one day?

Last night, I got the answer I didn’t want: Yes.

All day, I dreaded the drive to pick up my husband from the bus. Fear. Dread. I didn’t have a choice whatsoever. I had to pick him up. I had to push past my fear and the boundaries I had set in place years ago.

I always said, “At least I know I can’t drive in snow and ice, so I don’t!” when they’d report on accidents. All day, I’d read how the Nashville area had become one big sheet of ice. Accidents everywhere. My fear increased. I forced myself to look at how twice as many cars were getting through okay. I kept reminding myself that for every one car wrecked, at least four more made it through okay. I read advice online from friends and experts on how to drive in winter conditions. I equally wanted it over as much as I wanted the time to never come.

My husband called me as they entered Tennessee. I figured it gave me a good hour over what it usually takes to get to where they meet the bus. I grabbed my stuff, got in my truck, and I prayed. I have have even got a little overwhelmed with my nervousness before I ever put my truck into reverse to back out of the garage.

I went, though. I had to. I backed out into my snow covered drive way, onto my snow covered street, and I set out. Slow and steady. Brakes were not my friend, I kept reminding myself. I set up my navigator so I could watch the miles tick off as I inched closer to my destination. A low tire pressure warning appeared, and I felt my stomach clinch. I prayed some more.

It took me a little over an hour, but I made it. I hit my exit to where I meet the bus, and I realized I was completely tensed up, needed to pee, and my stomach growled. In my nervousness, I’d forgotten to eat for hours. I pulled into the Mapco for a quick pee break, some hot chocolate, and a Christmas tree snack cake.

As I went out to the truck, I was surprised (and a little giddy!) to see the bus pulling in to the parking lot. I waved like a mad woman, and my husband, who was driving, honked at me. I made my way over the bus, feeling extremely proud of myself. I made it! I did it! I drove in snow and ice! And I didn’t even skid out a little bit! I DID IT! I thanked silent everyone who gave me advice, and my guardian angels that were looking out for me.

Proud of myself as I was, I happily handed the driver’s seat over to my Oregon-born husband to get us home. I am still not going to be in any hurry to get out in winter weather… but the fear will be just a little less next time. I’ve proven to myself that I can do it. And I have to admit (no pun intended) that is REALLY cool.

A very happy sight for me! I made it to the bus!

My dumbest phobia

Telephone phobia (telephonophobia, telephobia) is reluctance or fear of making or taking phone calls, literally, “fear of telephone”. (From Wikipedia)

Yup. That’s me. You’d be surprised how hard I have to psych myself up to make a phone call. I am not as bad about taking phone calls, but there’s that issue, too. I have to REALLY know the person on the other end of the line to be okay with talking on the phone in general.

I did a Google search for “fear of making a phone call” figuring I wouldn’t find anything. Much to my surprise, there are a lot of web-sites out there about it! Even some self-help sites to help people get over it. Suddenly, I don’t feel so weird to be like this.

The invention of the Internet and text messaging was made for someone like me. In fact I wonder if the inventors of the Internet were fellow telephonophobics. And text messaging is like a blessing. I’m never without my cell phone specifically because text messaging rocks so hard. I wish I could text for everything. I imagine some things would go like this:

Me to doctors office: “Hey, I need an appointment. What do you have?”
Doc: “How is Friday at 11. Be here by 10:45.”
Me: “Cool. I’m there. Thanks!”

Or maybe:

Me to restaurant: “What are your hours?”
Restaurant: “11am to 2 pm”
Me: “I need a reservation for 4 at 6 pm. Name, Musicians Widow.”
Restaurant: “Gotcha! See you then!”

Yeah… you can give your cell number to vendors and let them text you specials, etc. That’s not the kind of thing I am talking about (and its also something I steadfastly refuse to do). No, I mean the things that are two minute conversations and not a big deal…


The last time I had a doctor’s appointment, it took me ten minutes to talk myself into dialing the number. That is not a lie or exaggeration! If I make a call and my husband or my parents are around, I’ll quiz them for a long time after I hang up as to, “Did I do okay?”

Like I said, I don’t let my “phobia” hold me back (much), but its definitely something I want to work on and totally rid myself of having. Or, if I don’t rid myself of it, I was to at least take my psych-up-time down to 30 seconds versus 10 minutes.

Any words of wisdom out there? Anyone have any advise? Or… better yet… does anyone else deal with this, too? Talk to me! (Just don’t call me… ha!)