Tag Archives: roadwidow

anniversary, road widows

Our 10th Anniversary

I still remember so clearly, right after we got engaged, being asked when we thought our wedding would be. Without hesitation I said January. It wasn’t that I dreamed of getting married in January, it was purely practical… with my husband-to-be a touring musician, I knew January was the one month that my odds of having him home was greatest. He wouldn’t have to sub-out his gig to get married, and we’d probably actually get to spend anniversaries together.

It worked up to, ironically, today: our 10th Wedding Anniversary.

We got just a little winter precipitation, so I marked the occasion in the white, soft snow.

The week leading up to our wedding, the artist he was playing for had rehearsals. It was one of maybe five times in the last 10 years that I stomped my foot and refused to “compromise.” My groom would be in Texas with me… they had a year notice about our wedding and they could just figure it out. (And they did, and it was fine.)

Our second anniversary, my husband left that afternoon on the road. But he was home for the first half of the day, and we celebrated then.

Otherwise, our anniversaries have been everything from trips, to fancy dinners, to a quiet night at home, to a night out with friends. All of them together.

I took the photo for this year a few days ago while we were out so I could play with a camera I had rented for the holidays. We’ll take a second photo after he gets off the road and we celebrate the special milestone in our marriage.

My husband was so surprised when I encouraged him to take a drive that took him away from home on our anniversary, though.  This is a big one! Why would we be  apart on it?

It’s just our life. Bills still need to be paid, and our life happens to be one that requires us to be apart to “make ends meet.” We’ve missed plenty of holidays (with the exception for Christmas and New Years Eve… see that whole moments-of-not-compromising thing) and birthdays. We’ve never gone to a wedding together. We do what we have to do to take care of each other.

And isn’t that what we said in our vows on that warm January afternoon 10 years ago? We vowed to take care of each other. To love each other. In sickness and in health. For richer or poorer. We do what we have to do to take care of each other… and that often means being apart on special events.

Photo by AJW Photo

The most special event, however, was definitely the event 10 years ago, when we said, “I do.” Since then, life has been an adventure. As I look back over the last decade, I focus on the good stuff and learn from the… not so good. We’ve had our struggles, but they’ve made us stronger and taught us more about ourselves, each other and life itself.

I know I couldn’t ask for a better partner with which to navigate life. And as we continue to build our life together, we will continue to be stronger and fall more and more in love every day, every year, every failure and every success. Because we are a team… and we are always stronger together. Even if it means having to be apart now and then.

Christmas 2016

I love you, Craig. You are my world, my rock, and love. Happy Anniversary! Here’s to many, many more years ahead. Hurry home…

husband, road-stories, work

Making a change

4 Comments

Today, my husband officially heads out with a new title.

10661899004_ebf3326b5a_z

My  husband is a musician. I don’t just mean that’s his job or what he does, it’s who he is. It’s as much a part of him as breathing. I knew this when I met him. I knew this when I said, “Of course!” when he proposed. I knew this when I said, “I do.”

I married a musician.

So when we made a decision recently, it wasn’t made without heavy thinking, soul searching, After more years than I know, and (even more importantly) specifically after six years in his last position, my husband put the keyboards in our garage and he will go drive tour bus full time.

2015-07-07 20.43.57

This decision was one that was somewhat made for us, as we pursue a new dream together of opening a bar, and as we’ve found ourselves in a deeper financial rut than we’ve faced in over five years.

My husband has been on the roster of a bus company for years, as he’s been a co-driver for the last several artists he’s worked for and most used the same bus leasing company. So upon finding himself off for a few weeks, he called the company to see if there was any driving to be done. With one phone call he went from having three weeks off to being on the road more than he’d been in a while.

DSCN0013
Photo not by me, but I’m so glad to have it. :)

So somewhat long story short, a hard decision was made. In a way, the decision ended up being made for us, but that’s on paper. In the heart, though, the decision was a lot more complicated.

My husband is a musician, but he won’t be playing music on the road for awhile. Oh, he’ll play on the road again. This is something I feel certain will happen. But for now… for now he’ll be one of those people getting your favorite groups across the country. This job has a lot more responsibility, and we’re juggling our schedule more than ever before. But he’s good at it, and there’s a lot of work out there to do.

Screenshot_2015-07-10-02-42-29-1 We know that this is for the best, but the last few weeks have been very bittersweet. My husband has traveled hundreds of thousands of miles with is bandmates. He’s spent holidays with them. There have been times he’s spent more time with them than with me. They’re family. And we both love them all. It’s going to feel very strange for a long time to not see those guys regularly.

In the same breath, I am excited for what adventures do lie ahead, too. I’m going to be able to go even more full-speed ahead on our opening our bar. We’re going to take a vacation later this year to visit my husband’s family for the first time in almost two years. And who knows what else lies ahead. Change is scary. Change can be sad. Change can also be exciting. I’m feeling all three of these right now. Friends and family have been super supportive, and that’s helped more than I can say.

So, here we go. We’ve got this.