Musician's Widow

Today has been one of those days where you just want to pull the covers back over your head and NOT get out of bed. The only difference between today and other days like this is the fact that… that’s exactly what I did.

See, I had a great time last night at the tree decorating party, and I came home riding a high from that. But then once I got into bed, snuggled down to sleep, the brain clicked into the “On” position and would not shut off. So I laid awake until well into the morning, before my exhausted body took over my brain and wrestled it into sleep mode.

I then proceeded to just not want to get up… especially since I found out (thankfully!) I’ll be working tonight. So while most people settle in for a cold, wet night at home, I’ll be heading off to work. Kinda like how when everyone was going in for a cold, we DAY at work, I was settling in to go to sleep.

Yes, I live my life backwards from everyone else some times. Not always, but sometimes. And today was one of those days.

Someone have a cup of hot chocolate by the fire for me tonight!! I took a nap for everyone else today.

My husband was supposed to be home over two hours ago. However, a bad accident shut the interstate down, and they got stuck for two hours.

That’s definitely not something anyone could anticipate (which is why they try to leave plenty of time on their way TO a gig) and they were the luckiest of everyone out there… they had a bathroom the whole time. Sorry, when I see people stuck in traffic for hours at a time, I always think how awful it would be if you need to use the bathroom and if you’re diabetic and need food. But I digress…

So here I am, laying on the couch, waiting to go pick up my husband from the bus. Their original arrival time was perfect for me to go get him and go to bed at my normal time. This new ETA? It just throws me off.

They weren’t far enough behind to justify going to bed, but they’re far enough behind for me to be getting grumpy and ready for sleep.

I’ve tried to keep myself busy this whole time, and I got a lot done. Almost all the laundry is done. And I’ve gotten some paperwork done. But now I’m over it. I’m ready for him to be home.

An hour to go…

I’ve documented in this blog a few times (here and here, to name two entries) that I am a “night owl.”  However, I’ve always kept a staunch rule of not sleeping much past noon. Even if it meant shorting myself of sleep, I wanted to make sure I still had as much of the afternoon available.

I’ve not kept to that rule much as of late, and for the last week I just threw it out of the window.

My bed time has evolved to be around 4:30 or 5 am. As I always tell people, when my husband goes on the road I have a very hard time going to sleep before the sun starts to rise. It’s a strange mental safety blanket, but it also keeps my sleep schedule a little off from what most people would consider “normal.”

Aside from that, it also will be affected by if my husband is driving the bus while on the road.

It started years ago, when he was the only driver for the artist he worked for at the time. We credit his driving for the shift in our relationship from being just friends to being more. As he drove through the night, he’d call me for company and to “help him stay awake.”  I’d stay up all night on the phone until I knew he was safe at the next hotel in the next city. Then I’d grab a couple hours of sleep before starting my own day, only to do it all over again the next night. We really got to know each other then.

Today, I think of it as our just being a team. We work together and help each other out.

The last two weekends, my husband worked as both keyboard player and bus driver. We joked at one point that this was like “old times” as we talked through the miles.

The first run didn’t affect my sleep schedule too much. It was actually pretty normal, and even my husband had no trouble getting his sleep needs back on track. However, it was the sudden change of plans last Tuesday/Wednesday that resulted in a sleep-mess.

Between staying up with him as he drove to Indiana on Tuesday night, then staying up to pick him up Thursday morning from the bus, my husband and I both went on what I’d call “a bus driver schedule.” Sleeping through the day. Up all night.

However, this last weekend ended up all mixed up. A 7 am bus call meant up all night didn’t really work. But when you get up at 5 pm, its hard to go back to bed at 10 pm! So, my husband grabbed a couple naps. I did too, since I planned to follow the bus to Saturday’s show. We hoped it was enough.

We left our house at 5 am (bed time, right?) to get the bus, since it takes a little over half an hour to get to the bus lot followed by a little over half an hour to where the band is picked up. We were both doing good, though, at that point. Drove 3 hours to the gig, and my  husband set up his gear and sound checked. We grabbed lunch and then finally got to the hotel to sleep around 1 pm.

We were both wide awake, and it took a little while for sleep to come. Once we did both fall asleep, though, we slept well. I think we could have slept into the night if we had the time! But it was up, shower, supper and showtime. Tear down. Load up the bus. Then wait to get to leave.

I drove home, but my husband had about an 8 hour drive to the next gig. I stayed up through the night to make sure he made it there okay, and he did fine. It ended up another go to bed at 11 am day,  up at 5 pm.

I was able to nap periodically through the evening as my husband drove back to Nashville. I talked to him a few times to perk him up when fatigue started to set in on him. I really felt for him as at that point the crazy sleep times were catching up to him, but he loves what he does and he takes it very seriously. He wants to do the very best (and safest) job that he can, and I wouldn’t give up staying up with him to make sure that happens for anything. Truth be told, I find it a little fun to “ride along” and I hope he gets more drives!

But, as I said, I got to nap through the evening when he didn’t. As such, he’s sleeping soundly while I am still wide awake. I’m not entirely sure how I’ll turn my schedule back to normal…  So here is where I have to ask: Anyone have any go-to-sleep tricks that work for them when they find their schedules off? Be it from travel or work or just insomnia? I am all ears with eyes wide open.

How can you get mad at this face:

Its easy when that face decides to wake you every two hours demanding to play.

This has happened to me the last several nights in a row, and I’m officially over it. It’s ceased to be cute. Sleep is what I want… not to be begged to play.

My husband gave our cat a broken guitar string as a new toy, claiming cats love guitar strings. I am fairly sure I have him a, “Yeah… right.” look.

Well.

He was right.

This cat loves this guitar string. He runs around the house carrying it in his mouth like a dog would carry a tennis ball or stick. He will bring it to me while I sit at the desk or on the couch, set it down, and look at me like, “Make it move. Play with me!”

And I have to admit, its super cute.

What is not cute, though, is when he does this at night; when I am in a dead sleep. He jumps up on the bed, sets the string within arms reach, and proceeds to mew loudly until I wake up. The sad thing is that he has me to so well trained, that I find myself playing with him! Half asleep, moving this guitar string around so he can pounce on it. When I come to my senses, I throw it off the bed and he chases after it. Sadly, he usually comes back within two hours and we start all over.

Apparently, this isn’t an unusual phenomenon. I did a quick Google search and I discovered:

• How to Get a Cat to Stop Waking Me Up at Night
• My Cat is a Jerk Who Wakes Me Up All Hours of the Night (A Facebook Group)
• Why your cat wakes you up at 4am in the morning

Not to mention COUNTLESS forum posts and Yahoo! Answers posts. So at least I am not alone. However,that knowledge doesn’t let me get a full night of sleep. I should probably just temporarily lock him out of my room at night, but when hubby isn’t home, I like having him around. Especially when all he does is snuggle up beside me and purr. Its an awesome comfort, and the companionship of a pet helps fill a void when you are home alone.

But, I’m over it. I’m over the late-night play sessions he demands. I might throw HIM off the bed next time!

Okay, I won’t. But it doesn’t mean I won’t be tempted…

Its 4 am.

Yes, you read that right. 4 am. This is not an unusual hour for me. It’s about bed time, I suppose, and I write this from my bed. Quality time with my blog tonight, I guess you could say.

I’m a night owl. I am sure many people think this fact is due to my having married a musician who is, by profession, a night owl himself. However, I think a big part of why my husband and I ever hit it off is the simple fact that I’ve pretty much always been a night owl.

I remember back in Elementary school, I was baffled about how none of my classmates knew that at 10:30 pm, after the news, M*A*S*H came on for half an hour. Bed time was always after that show, of course, but it was perfectly normal for me to stay up to watch the show!

My classmates were all in bed by, I assumed, 8 or 9 pm. Me? I’d be up until 11 pm, mostly because there was no point to my going to bed any earlier. I wasn’t going to sleep anyway!

In high school, I was introduced to After MidNite with Blair Garner while I did homework. IF I was done with my homework, I’d still lay in bed awake until all hours listening to the radio host’s antics. If there was an artist I was really interested in being interviewed, I’d be awake until 3 am easily… waiting to hear the interview.

Now, all this being said, I’ve never been a morning person. I can remember in Elementary school, I’d get up and have cereal for breakfast. I’d build myself a fort out of cereal boxes around my bowl in an attempt to keep the light out. I already didn’t think the day should even consider starting before 10 am. At the earliest.

Somewhere along the way, I learned how to live on about 4 hours of sleep. I did that through most of college. Go to bed around 3 am. Get up by 6 or 7 am. Drive to 8 am classes. I kept this schedule up into my job at a newspaper… staying up late, though, to talk to a guy instead of to do homework.

I married that guy.

I moved to Nashville.

My night owl-ness got worse.

You can ask most of my friends here in Nashville. This fact is not unusual. It’s almost a, “Welcome to Nashville,” phenomenon.

However, its not when we go out, or if I pick up a night working downtown at the bar, that my being a night owl takes a ridiculous turn. While I’ve driven home from downtown while the sun rises, its actually when my husband goes on the road that I stay up super late. You see, sunrise offers me some sort of strange security blanket. Its like the first rays of light bring with them this sense of safety. Like I can relax and go into that vulnerable sleep-state.

I sleep as the sunrises. I wake as most go to lunch. Some days, I wake as the school bus drops off neighborhood kids. I have coffee and cereal, as they have candy bars and cokes. This is normal for me.

I try hard to adjust my schedule from time to time. I miss daylight, and I force myself up by 10 or 11 am. However, I often still stay up late after that… and I find myself sleeping even later than normal the next day to compensate! Its at times like that, that I realize that sometimes its not worth fighting the body’s natural clock. I’ll fight it when we have kids. For now, I’ll just stay a night owl.

It is what it is. And what it is now… bedtime.